Tips for Carers to people with eating disorders

I am often seeing parents, partners, children and other family members of those struggling with eating disorders. And most of them come with the same question - How we can help?
Here are some hopefully helpful suggestions!

Tips for Caregivers

• Dismiss expectations of short and simple treatment.
• Don’t celebrate recovery too early, there will be setbacks.
• Don’t expect too much too soon, there could be relapse.
• Don’t think of recovery as a straight process – it is not only weight gain and eating. Expect setbacks.
• Avoid discussion on food, weight or appearance.
• Eating Disorder compromises ability to feel or express emotions. Emotional pain may increase.
• Reassure you know recovery takes time and relieve the pressure.
• Ask “how can I support YOU, not your ED”. Thinking of ED as a monster on their shoulder might be helpful.
• Set boundaries – limits on the behavior that you will tolerate
• Point put the positive (non-appearance) qualities
• Role model
• Be prepared for them to be angry and emotional, and say hurtful things
• Don’t be discouraged if you are met with denial. Accept that the decision to recover has to come from them and reflect positively on the steps you’ve taken – you have opened a door
• Be aware that they are likely to be feeling embarrassed, ashamed and scared
• Don’t label them or attempt to trick them into admitting they have an eating disorder
• Re-affirm you love them (if they say “I hate you”, you say “Well I don’t hate you, I love you”)
• Use “I” sentences